Soon You’ll Have A Garden

Random thoughts come to me and sometimes I’ll share them here with you.

This came to me last Saturday…

Most people aren’t trying to hurt you intentionally.
They’re in a war with their own ego and in that battle,
you just so happen to be one of the casualties.

But how often is your ego battling with you too?

In learning how to remain open to inspiration and following the flow, I get random messages sent through. Mostly they show up while I’m falling into a deep sleep or in meditation. Some are oversimplified reiterations of things I already have a knowing on, and others feels so new and sophisticated it’s hard to believe it came from within.

No matter the message, I’ve learned to honor them.

For one, it’s confirmation that my vessel is open to receive divine communication and two, because it’s insight for me and insight I can share with you.

But truly, most people aren’t trying to hurt you intentionally. They’re really in a war with their own ego.

Learning how not to take things personally has been one of my biggest lessons on this life journey.

Some people are tired. Some people have a difficult relationship with being wrong. Some people need deep validation. Some people have authority complexes. And none of it is yours to fight with, until you allow it to be.

Even the things that deeply sting, I have to remember are not meant for me to absorb.

I can learn from it. Observe it. Sit with it and give it love. I can tend to the wounds that flare up, and still, it doesn’t have to be mine to walk with.

And while all of this is true that others may be offering pain as a side dish to your interaction with them, it’s also true that your ego could be the one holding the sword.

Going to war with anything and everything it perceives as threatening.

Most of us have an ego with an unconditional vow to “protect us”. It’s filled with all our hurt and our pain. Trapping us in stories about what is necessary to “keep us safe”.

Your ego can be your biggest enemy when left unchecked and out of balance. Trust me I know.

Its position is to always defend you at all costs. Even when there isn’t really anything to defend against.

This can manifest dangerously in your practice as a nurse.

What happens when a provider speaks to you in a way that triggers feelings of when you were being scolded as a child? Or what happens when what that same provider has to say is offering feedback that can improve your practice as a nurse?

Or what happens when a patient is rude and condescending but your purpose is to still find a way to facilitate healing in that room?

Or how about the co-worker who reported you to management for something they could have spoken with you about directly but you still need to work with them in a positive way?

All those scenarios can trigger the ego and if you allow them to, keep you in a loop of stories that stunt your growth.

When triggered we naturally can become defensive. We’re really skilled in it too. It’s not always nasty words, sometimes it’s a passive aggressive tone, or withholding of information or a complete dismissal of the person’s existence moving forward.

Our ego shows up in so many ways and at this point in your life, it’s become crafty. Because imagine it really told you truthfully what it was doing. Imagine it said out loud, “this moment isn’t what I’m telling you it is, but because you shouldn’t allow anyone to mess with you like that, let’s start a war against them.”

If it spoke like that, I wonder how many of us would take pause.

I’ve observed so many parallels in my personal and professional life.
Each supporting the other’s growth.

I didn’t know as a twenty something year old new grad nurse that my professional choices would teach me some hard and beautiful personal lessons.

And I had no idea that the more I grew personally and gave more love to the tender spaces, that I would grow more empathetic and connected to my patients and colleagues as a nurse.

The journey through nursing is so precious if you allow it to be.

The truth is, our ego will show up every where we give it room to. And the more difficult truth is that everyone around us will have an ego that will show up to the playground even if you don’t invite it to.

But check in with yourself and often. Prioritize healing the stuff that comes up. Remember,
you don’t have to take everything offered to you. And you don’t have to give everything your ego encourages you to.

Deep breaths are your best friend.

You’re allowed to observe a moment and not fall into the traps of that moment. Take your time with yourself and others. Sow seeds of love and watch how’ll you begin to bloom and inspire others to do the same with you.

Soon you’ll have a garden…

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