take the step…

“I’ll just do it in the morning when I get up…” The infamous words I use to lullaby myself to sleep whenever I want to avoid the task at hand.

It’s always the night before my shift. It’s always when I’m perfectly tucked away, eye mask in place, pink noise going in the background. Because yes, there’s pink noise, white noise, brown noise, all the noise you need to ease the buzz of the day.

The words come to me so easily once I’m tucked away. & I oblige the sleep that is heavily on my lids. “I’ll just do it in the morning when I get up”.

Lately it’s also my infamous ‘to-do’ list I like to create of all the things I’m never really going to do. Always when I’m at work. Always when I can’t really execute any of it.

It’s my safety net. Procrastination has become my shield against the world. If I never do it, there is nothing to be afraid of. No one to hear from. No mistake to make. No growth to face.

Just me and my comfort zone.

Better late than never they say.

Except, cue the self-doubt, fear, insecurity and you’ll spend a lifetime avoiding the things you feel purposed to do. The whispers of things placed on your heart to carry out now begin to collect dust. The quiet conversations you have with yourself about what could be now become filled with why it can’t be and shouldn’t be. Then excuses start rolling in.They start screaming louder than the soft voice of your dreams calling out to you.

Then nothing.

No movement.

No small steps of possibility.

Just stagnation.

Discomfort.

And you’re left with the frustrations of “why haven’t I yet”.

It’s how I’ve felt about this blog. It’s how I’ve felt about writing in general. Can I even? Should I even?

The answer is yes. It’s always been yes. & you know it.

It’s why it persistently nags at you. It’s why it hasn’t gone away. But it will. I read this book by Elizabeth Gilbert titled ‘Big Magic’ and somewhere in there it talks about ideas being energy. They want to be expressed via the path of least resistance. Like all energy.

So when the idea came to you, it’s because in that moment you were ready to receive it. Your resistance wasn’t there. You were excited and ready to set things in motion.

But somewhere in that excitement, your programming around what you think you’re capable of set in. Then the second guessing. The wondering. Then nothing. You do nothing with your gift.

The ideas will keep nudging you but if your resistance is greater than your desire to see it through, then off to someone else it goes. That’s how that works. You know that feeling of someone having the exact same idea as you? But you know for a fact there was no possible way for them to “steal” it. Yea, that’s what that is. The idea moved along to who was less stubborn, and more willing.

So what will you answer the call for today? What will you take the step towards?

I know we think we’re supposed to feel fearless when we take the first step but nope, you move in spite of the fear. It’s the action that lessens the fear. It’s facing the mountain step by step that gives you the courage to continue the climb.

Paulo Coelho has a beautiful quote in his book ‘The Alchemist’,

“And, when you want something,

all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it…”

I hope you remember that all of the universe is truly conspiring in your favor. I hope today you remember that everything you want for yourself is truly possible. I hope you can look at all you’ve accomplished thus far and see that as proof for all that you have yet to achieve. I hope you know that even the mistakes and obstacles along the way are there to deepen your discovery of self. To aid in your growth. To fortify your spirit.

I believe in you because I believe in me. May your courage grow stronger than your fears in every season of your life.

*Place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath*

Now take the step. Trust that what’s on the other side of that step is even more beautiful than what you’ve even imagined.

With love, your forever big sis,